When I was a little kid I loved watching Unsolved Mysteries. That show scared the living shit out of me. When I’d wake up at night I thought there were aliens staring at me through the windows. They never got me though, and they never will. ROBERT STACK ATTACK!!!!
If you think THIS shit is hard to clean up, try scraping my BRAINS off the...– Mom
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This is a joke I wrote for female comedians: PERIOD???? MORE LIKE EXCLAMATION POINT! GUSHING OUT OF MY VAGINA!! You’re welcome ladies. Love, MCP
Anonymous asked: You're gonna brag about your awesome tits and there's not a cleavage shot to be found on your stupid jerk website? It's 2010 for god's sake.
Bad Language American History: Pearl Harbor, 1941
michaelianblack: These fucking Japs were all, “Let’s go to Hawaii and fuck up some American shit.” So they did. America was all, “Those fuckers just blew up our coolest ships.” Everybody was PISSED! Then FDR goes on the radio and is all, “This fucking day sucked.” Then there was a war.
Ugh, my feet smell so bad. I love it.– Amy
I cried about a Malcolm in the Middle episode– Brooks Robinson
Rush Limbaugh is Francis Buxton