June 2010
14 posts
1:35amBrooks
I wish I lived alone
I could watch PCU all day
1:35amMe
that’s why you wish you lived alone?
wow, you deserve to be sad about your life
1:36amBrooks
Piven you scoundrel! Give back those kegs!
When my boyfriend punches me, I just tell the kids that mommy’s nose is having it’s period. That usually just makes them cry even more.
Anonymous asked: Do you have any thing up on The Onion yet?
Anonymous asked: Do you have any stand-up videos available online?
Mission Statement
2:07amMe
I’ve been in my room for the last 2 days. I’m going bananas
AND I think a tarantula laid eggs in my ear
2:09amBrooks
haha
You have the worst luck!
2:09amMe
will you come over and help me kill the spider infestation?
2:10amBrooks
Sure
2:10amMe
hurry! they
re
hatching
2:10amBrooks
Oh no
I’m outside your door
it’s too late
2:11amMe
we are the spiders that killed...
Future Princess Diaries
Dear Prince Harry,
I am writing to inform you of my interest in becoming your wife and therefore Princess of something or other. Despite my strong disdain for red haired persons, I find you somewhat kind of attractive, I guess. Being royalty and all, I’m sure you get a lot of attention from the ladies, but take note my sweet prince, I am not like other women. First off, I understand...
